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Pitching The Script and Feedback
00:00 / 05:57
From pitching my idea, I was given feedback on my ideas and where to tweak my script. My feedback was to make sure the tone and language is correct for each of the characters. Using the correct dialogue to capture the personality of the characters. Some verbal feedback i had was to put the whole narrative and series in one room
Changes Made to the Script
James' character is the hardest to understand. Being both intelligent but crafty, he comes across like he knows everything but can sometimes fake it. I made sure I added dialogue that would show the audience he is trying to make an intelligent conversation.
Feedback Review
My feedback claimed that the characters worked really well as they all have their own unique characteristics that tie in together. The story would be interesting as you get to see how each character would react to different situations. One suggestion made was about the key title of 'Four Walls' which i decided to use as these people are stuck within a house together. The suggestion was to make the story inside of one room (dining room, kitchen) which i thought could be a unique idea but, very hard to create well.
My feedback made it clear that the characters need to be very well portayed and their comedic traits need to stick out for an effective character base. I was told to try and get their tone and language correct to show how they would actually speak. As the siblings are very different to one another, I need to make sure they are distinct to one another with the way they speak. I completley agree as without a clear distinct difference between the characters, it could make a very confusing link between them and hard to find the comedic areas of the characters. This only causes confusion for the audince and will not make it funny.
As the first episode is to introduce the characters and the idea of the sort of story that will be involved, it is quite short. An official episode will probably be 20-30 minutes long as their will be a main event in each episode. The feedback liked this about the length and duration as they are quick and easy stories. This supports my ideas and the way the series would be made as a long episode could cause a drag in the comedy or story.
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